Muse, or I Guess I Just Needed Some Therapy...

I wanna thank you for softening my my shell shocked, calloused heart. This album, even with its crudeness,crassness, and "interesting" depictions of black women, is a musical masterpiece. The bossa nova / tropicalismo, the Motown (Marvin Gaye's Trouble Man instrumental…..that was for me, right?) the subtle use of Estelle, the hard hitting of Nikki Minaj….reminding me of an early Lil' Kim (I heard that bumblebee reference…classic…she knows whose shoulders she standing on)….This album's production style….it just makes me wanna write…I am so inspired by your music…I have found my muse…thank you...

Today was a good day!

Its about 11 pm and I am laying in a hammock on my balcony that has a (slight) view of the ocean. Actually I may go inside cause I think the mosquitoes are out. Unfortunately, I don't get to spend too much time out here during the day cause of the hot as Hades sun...this is my first Brazilian spring/summer and it is kicking my butt!

But I am enjoying the beach and the hot weather, especially considering I could be experiencing snow and 18 degree temps like my folks in Detroit are. I spent part of the day at the beach watching a swim competition and reading about writing. I had printed out a copy of this series of articles about developing a successful writing practice. I know I tend to wait until I have large amounts of time to sit down and try to write (this blog, in my journal, my creative stuff, and my academic work). Of course, I rarely have large amounts of time. So you can imagine how often I write. So now I have to learn to take smaller amounts of time, daily or almost daily, to write. I think I will like to do academic work in the morning and creative stuff in the evening. I downloaded a writing graph from the author's website (she has a book too). I will officially start this Monday.

I also reacquainted myself with three academic websites: ; http://www.phinished.org/ ; http://www.insidehighered.com/ and www.chronicle.com . I need to utilize the resources available there as I complete this work.

I am reading the book Writing Down the Bones, which takes a Zen approach to writing. I find it very inspiring on a variety of levels. Perhaps I will expound upon that in a later post. There is also a book by the African American writer, Charles Johnson, called Turning the Wheel that I am considering buying. He addresses the intersection of writing, race, and Buddhism. I saw a quote recently that talked about creative people being inspired by other creative people. I can see that working in my life now. The next step is to be productive...

Catching Up

There was a pretty long gap between my last post in July and the latest ones in December. I have a pretty good reason for that. F. and I stayed in Brazil until August, but I became so ill I really feel blessed that I made it through okay. In the beginning of August I had another stomach episode (even before that I got seasick on the way to an island resort area, but I can't even speak on that cause I get flashbacks...ugh). So I was sick at the start of August, and then I got a little better. Then right before my son's birthday on the 7th, I started to feel very ill, feverish and achy. It got progressively worse, until I found a place for him to be and took a taxi to the hospital. I could barely walk and had started coughing and having problems breathing.

In Brazil you have to put down a 2500 reis deposit (about 1400 USD) when you go to the emergency (at least at the hospital I went to). So after I paid the money and filled out the paperwork, I got to sit for hours while I waited and then had chest xrays, blood tests, and an oxygen treatment. They thought I had denge fever, then pneumonia, but I was eventually diagnosed as having a "lung infection". I am still not convinced that it was not the flu or H1N1. I got antibiotics and was sent home.

Unfortunately, the antibiotics did little. I kept a 103 degree temperature for about a week and really was not 100% I was gonna make it (I am dramatic but it was really bad, man). I emailed my mentor back in the States and gave him instructions to facilitate things for me and my family in the event that I were to become incapacitated. I didn't tell my parents cause I did not want them to worry.

Finally, it was time to go. I really only made it through cause of the kindness of my house guest and some local friends who took care of me and my son. I never felt so helpless before....damn, just thinking about it makes me want to cry. I made it through though, praise God! So, anyway, F. and I arrive home and my parents could see how sick I was ( I had lost my voice for a few days while in Brazil and was still very hoarse plus I coughed so hard it sounded like I was hacking up a lung). Shortly after arriving in the states I went to the MSU clinic (free for students, so I drove the 1.5 hours to go to the doctor...well, my mom drove, but still). The funny thing is, the night before we went to MSU, my throat starting hurting really bad and I had white spots on my tonsils. I thought strep throat (whose horror I had experienced before). My cousin insisted that I gargle with peroxide and the next day the pain was gone but the spots were still there. The doctor diagnosed me with having bronchitis and tonsillitis and gave me another, different course of antibiotics. I was better within a week or so.

So that was the end of my summer in Brazil (Brazilian winter). I will share later some of the really cool things that I experienced during my fall in Detroit. Now I am enjoying winter back in Brazil (Brazilian summer). Reflecting on this post, I think I better be about the business of making sure my contingency plans are in place in case I take ill again (or God forbid, my son does)...

Its Been A Long Time Since I Left You....

Hello cyberworld! After a long hiatus, I am ready to come back to the blog. I am still trying to figure out exactly how I want to use this space....my musings about life in Brazil, motherhood, dissertation research, and the like will probably be here. I also have been working more on my creative side....I like to think of myself as a bit of a creative intellectual. I am not sure if or when I will share some of my creations, but I may discuss the creative process. I am excited, and ready, I believe, to continue this quest to live a well lived life. So stay tuned....