This morning's convo with my mom via Skype...
Mom: So you are going to be staying with us for 3 months....whoah...how are we gonna manage?
Me: Well, we will have to work it out....but a couple of things. I don't need my coffeemaker, but I do need the microwave.
Mom: I will have to re-arrange the kitchen for it, but I guess it'll be okay.
Me: And also, I must use the shower head. I know you all are afraid of mildew and prefer us to only take baths, but there is no way I can do my hair without the shower. The shower and the microwave, I need compromise on those.
Mom: Well, just shower with the window open and we'll see....your dad doesn't like folks taking showers cause the paint starts peeling, but I guess it will work out.
Me: Fine. So how's grandma?
Mom: She's okay, but she refuses to get a new stove and her oven doesn't work. So I have to fry up all her chicken and fish instead of baking it.
Me: Why don't you just bake it at home and then take it to her house? Its healthier.
Mom: And cook meat in my house!! Oh no!!
Me: Umm, mom...what do you think F. and I are going to do?
Mom: I thought you were going to stop eating meat again.
Me: Well, I plan on it, but F. isn't a vegetarian, and I am not feeding him frozen chicken dinners for three months.
Mom: Well, I hate handling raw meat, but I will have to cook the meat cause you don't know how to handle it without contaminating my kitchen.
Me: Mom, I am a 35 year old woman with a teenage son (not true...I'm 33 and he is 11, but this was my "I'm a grown azz woman" rant) and this is what I have been doing for 15 years now, cooking my own food. I cook healthy meals for my family. I intend to continue cooking for my family.
Mom: Well, we will have to see.
Me: What do you expect us to do?
Mom: Well I guess I will have to go up behind you and re sanitize my kitchen after you are done contaminating it.
Me: Well, if that's what you need to do...
Me: *bratty only child smile
That went well, I think......