Sunday, August 2, 2009

Negotiations...the convo I have been dreading...

This morning's convo with my mom via Skype...

Mom: So you are going to be staying with us for 3 are we gonna manage?

Me: Well, we will have to work it out....but a couple of things. I don't need my coffeemaker, but I do need the microwave.

Mom: I will have to re-arrange the kitchen for it, but I guess it'll be okay.

Me: And also, I must use the shower head. I know you all are afraid of mildew and prefer us to only take baths, but there is no way I can do my hair without the shower. The shower and the microwave, I need compromise on those.

Mom: Well, just shower with the window open and we'll see....your dad doesn't like folks taking showers cause the paint starts peeling, but I guess it will work out.

Me: Fine. So how's grandma?

Mom: She's okay, but she refuses to get a new stove and her oven doesn't work. So I have to fry up all her chicken and fish instead of baking it.

Me: Why don't you just bake it at home and then take it to her house? Its healthier.

Mom: And cook meat in my house!! Oh no!!

Me: Umm, mom...what do you think F. and I are going to do?

Mom: I thought you were going to stop eating meat again.

Me: Well, I plan on it, but F. isn't a vegetarian, and I am not feeding him frozen chicken dinners for three months.

Mom: Well, I hate handling raw meat, but I will have to cook the meat cause you don't know how to handle it without contaminating my kitchen.

Me: Mom, I am a 35 year old woman with a teenage son (not true...I'm 33 and he is 11, but this was my "I'm a grown azz woman" rant) and this is what I have been doing for 15 years now, cooking my own food. I cook healthy meals for my family. I intend to continue cooking for my family.

Mom: Well, we will have to see.

Me: What do you expect us to do?

Mom: *silence

Me: *silence

Mom: Well I guess I will have to go up behind you and re sanitize my kitchen after you are done contaminating it.

Me: Well, if that's what you need to do...

Mom: hmph...

Me: *bratty only child smile

That went well, I think......


Anonymous said...

LOL your mom is hilarious lol

Mae said...

She is, but after all that drama, my son now wants to be a vegetarian...go figure...

Chi-Chi, The Original Wombman said...

LoL . . . I needed that laugh this morning. Mother's can be such a trip!

Anonymous said...

Hahaha this is too funny, but reminds me of conversations my grandmother and I would have had. She raised me and boy did she have HER way about everything! Welcome back and I am glad you are okay! Geez you went through an illness! keep the writing coming, be it creative, dissertation talk (I am completing my coursework, but need all the resources and motivation I can get!) or just a vent!

Mae said...

Thanks caramel!